It was around our 4th prophylactic bottle of Gavi one morning (you know alcohol kills Covid-19, right?) that we came up with the theme this month: Pub Grub.
With a twist. An Asian one.
IMAGINE YOUR TYPICAL PUB
Some of you will be thinking of a charming, well-appointed establishment where the waiters wear chic aprons, the food arrives on wooden chopping boards, and the bar is so clean it could be licked. Should be licked, really.
Others of you will be imagining one of Soho’s finest piss-ridden boozers. Cascada’s greatest hits are playing in the background and even sipping from your own glass is a risky game judging by how the barman keeps adjusting himself. *Tries desperately to forget seeing thumb hit foam*
If you’re one of The Massamen, you’re thinking of the cheeky joints below, where grub meets grog and palette is never secondary to pint.
Don’t expect to find fish & chips or roasts at these places (we all know the best roast is one cooked at home anyway). If you’re worried about Coronavirus, try this:
ENJOY.
UKAI
Price: £££
Address: 240 Portobello Rd, Notting Hill, W11 1LL
Top-notch Japanese food directly on Portobello Road. Apparently the chef worked at NOBU and ROKA, but here, you won’t feel as financially violated walking out the door.
We went on a Saturday and they had a live band who were amazing. We were with our friend Katie, and she said they made her feel like this:
TRY:
Black cod gyoza
Nasu Dengaku (taking the #1 spot in London for us)
Pork Belly Robota
Spicy Tuna Hosomaki
The Churchill Arms
Price: ££
Address: 119 Kensington Church St, Kensington, W8 7LN
Apparently the first pub in London to start serving Thai food, The Churchill Arms is famous for the shrubbery adorning its exterior (on which we’ve heard they spend upwards of £25k each year). We’re all for self-care but that’s quite a lot to be spending on your bush, if you ask us.
The food’s delicious and spicy and the service how we like it - brusque.
WHAT TO GET:
Mixed Pad Kee-Mao
Roast Duck Curry
Pad Kra Prao
Spring Rolls
The Duck & Rice
Price: £££
Address: 90 Berwick St, Soho, London W1F 0QB
Now, some have said that this isn’t a real pub. To them, we respectfully reference their Google listing:
“Stylish British pub with copper beer tanks and upstairs dining room serving elevated Chinese dishes.” - SUCK IT, SHARON.
The food here is excellent - the chef is the founder of Yauatcha, Park Chinois, Wagamama, Busaba Eathai AND HAKKASAN. You’ll be able to find slightly cheaper versions of dishes on their menu around Soho but the quality will be nowhere near as good, nor will you be able to sip on a Pilsner whilst you eat. Focus on the important things.
DON’T LEAVE WITHOUT:
Duck and Rice (seriously, it’s great)
Scallop Shumai
Japanese Aubergine and Tofu Claypot
The Pineapple
Price: ££
Address: 51 Leverton St, Kentish Town, NW5 2NX
Unlike the others on this list, The Pineapple is a real local. Hidden in the residential backstreets of Kentish Town, you can imagine someone going in and asking for “the usual, luv”. How charming.
It’s busy, cosy, and the food comes out of the kitchen lightning fast. You’re unlikely to rave about the food in the same way as the others we’ve featured here, but decent grub down the boozer.
RECOMMENDED:
Prawn Pad Thai
Kao Phad Kee-Mow (spicy fried rice)
Pork Prad Kra Phao (spicy minced pork stir fry)
BONUS TIME
We try not to repeat places we’ve already reviewed too often but not mentioning the following two spots in a Pub Grub edition would be nothing short of a hate crime.
The Jackalope (£, W1G 7EQ)
Yes, the next day you’ll be putting in place quarantine measures that would make the WHO proud, but good golly is it worth it. Proper pub down a Marylebone mews with unreal Chongqing noods. Closed Saturdays and Sundays. See our full review here.
Farang (£££, N5 2XE)
We refuse to stop going back here. Makes the cut as it’s in a converted pub that’s still quite pub-y. It’s all great - order as many items as you can afford. Closed Sundays and Mondays. See the full review here.
Until next time, amigos.
The Massamen